Friday, March 09, 2001

it seems i am not noting my life with any level of verve unless some element of tragedy exists in my romantic space. this is interesting - or - perhaps not . . .perhaps it is just typically female . . .

i am dizzy with the smell of coffee and smoke, and it's not even 10 a.m. - in fact, it wasn't even 9 a.m. when i entered the abyss of faux continental dreaminess . . .sitting outside a cafe with sophie and sally . . .sipping a double cappuccino smoking a cigarette practicing my dreadfully sophomoric french . . .i have vowed that i will be able to converse with sophie in french in six months . . . .when i say this, she says, "la la di la di la la la di la . . .oui?!" hmmmm . . .i clearly have my work cut out for me . . .i know nothing - je ne sais pas . . .she does humour me by laughing every time i tell her that patrik and i are going to dish out ham juice to the world (you know - jus de jambon pour la monde . . .a long and convoluted story . . .montreal with patrik years ago . . .humourous, indeed, but not worth the explanation . . .trust me when i tell you, it was situational . . .)

this week has been consuming . . .the past weekend was consuming. i am, i suppose consumed.

i have moved to an unusual place for me . . .complete peace and comfort . . .no worries . . .no concerns about . . .about so many things.

patrik and i have finally moved to the next place in our relationship . . .friendship. the reality is . . .that has been the essence - the foundation - of everything else we were, but i believe that we have found peace, relief and a deeper love (well, for me anyway) by saying it out loud, "we are not lovers, we are friends." the glorious thing about this . . .nothing has changed . . .beauty abounds!! patrik is certainly one of the finest people I’ve ever know . . .i adore him!! : )

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