Wednesday, February 28, 2001

it's wednesday . . .was i so busy yesterday that i didn't have time to write? hmmm . . .not sure about this.

well . . .i'm not melancholy . . . there's too much movement for there to be melancholia . . . i'm moving here. there - it's in writing. i've been sitting on this for weeks, and now i can share. there's something wrong, though, when the first email i send is to my client . . .what is that? and . . . the fact that this move is primarily professionally oriented, is telling too - i suppose: this is what drives me - completely. it used to be, i followed my heart - utterly and completely . . .i would follow a man i loved anywhere . . .i mean it - anywhere . . .i stopped this recently . . .very recently . . .i think it was exhaustion . . .i really do. last year i just decided that i was going to take a step on a new journey . . .i moved to boston, and it was all about me . . .i left people behind . . .and that's that. not really . . . but . . .there you go.

i had a fun little chat with jenny this a.m. la la la . . .my time with jenny always brings me smiles and joy - she cracks me up! and i can hear joel in the background while we're on the 'phone . . .bah ha!

so . . .now i have to yank out that damn list (i still have it - good thing) of all of the things i have to do to get my move orchestrated . . .i'm going to drive my car across country . . .kevin inspired this . . . he doesn't know that, but he did . . .you like that, kevin, you have mention in my blog . . .notice i don't do that very often - people are "new friends" and "old friends." hmmmm . . . i don't know what i'm protecting there . . .alas, i tangent . . .i'm moving. i'm moving to san francisco. i'm leaving. i'm leaving boston.

by the way . . .new friend told me some stuff about old friend, and i am officially no longer 'melancholy' or any such shit over that . . .geez . . . the people i choose to spend time with . . . over that!

okay . . .much work to do today . . . in the san francisco office. where i shall be. for some amount of time 'til the next thing seems appealing. hmmmmm . . .how long can i sustain this? well . .. as i share with women younger than me . . . so much of life is about grabbing the joy, capturing the memory and solidifying the stories . . .the stuff that will sustain a gal in her old age sittin' on the porch . . .

Monday, February 26, 2001

so . . .monday is almost over, although i have more work to do. but i moved into the new apartment, and i am most pleased! i just got back from a pint of guiness and two cigarettes . . . or was it three . . .anyway . . .

i feel a bit melancholy now.

i just walked by an old friend with a new friend.
the old friend isn't interested in me anymore . . .
why does this happen?
it's so odd to me . . .
my new friend would ask me why this is important to me.

i would say - i don't know . . .
it just is . . .

ahhhh, sweet monday . . .60's and sunny here in san francisco . . . i cannot believe that i'm getting away with being on the west coast for the winter months . . .beauty . . .well, i really do miss the snow, i do . . .but not the driving . . .you know, skidding all over, going 30 mph . . .but, bummer, i wanted to see if the 'real time 4-wheel drive' on my new trucky truck (purchased in may) was really groovy in the snow . . .hmmmm - may never know . . .sadness.

i was completely lazy over the w'end . . .although, went out with a new friend who i could just talk to forever . . . she's extremely interesting and fun all rolled in to one! most excellent . . .and she is 1/2 french, so she makes fabulous things to nosh on, and doesn't turn her nose up at me when i want to chain smoke (jenny, don't be upset with me, it's just a phase i'm going through : ) i enjoyed my time with her this w'end for so many reasons.

i heard much about matt's mardi gras party, and, of course, was v. sad that i missed it . . . not that i was invited, but i could have probably latched on to patrik/jenny/aaron and remained inconspicuous had i been in town . . .and, yes, jenny has a point regarding patrik in his underwear - when he told me the stripping story, i was afraid, very afraid . . .patrik will do just about anything when he's drunk, and showing off his winkle pour le monde, is no exception. (notice the french there . . .i bugged my new, french friend as we grocery shopped on saturday night for dinner, "how do you say, carrot, tomato, can of soup, salami [i do not eat meat, but i saw it in the case . . .it is a most excellent translation, which i do not know how to spell, but - there you go . . .])

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